OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
