so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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