if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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