Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize