Where is the hickey?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
