i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
