can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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