who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
