The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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