So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
