i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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