He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
