So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
