Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
