Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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