i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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