i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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