Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
