ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Randomize
