Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Houston, we have a squirter
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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