you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
