i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
