i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
