the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
