i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
