I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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