Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
The beer is more important than you right now.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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