Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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