Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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