I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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