Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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