Yo dont text me then not text me
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize