He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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