You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
