k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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