my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
