Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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