maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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