Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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