You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
