You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
