you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
