It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
