Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
