My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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