Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
