i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
ok first of all what the fuck
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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