I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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