did you get engaged???
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
