Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You took a bar mat shot.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize