i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
