Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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