I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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