what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
