You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just had sex bonerless
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
