On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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