question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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