Slut skills are useful in every country.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
