So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Mom said you looked used
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize