It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
