last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
