East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
