holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
