Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
