i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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