Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
