just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
