i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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