Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize