I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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