In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
