I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Randomize
