Yo dont text me then not text me
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
